Now, I’m pretty damn sure I’ve written something about this topic before, and I sincerely apologise if anyone remembers it. However, it’s just the topic on my mind so hey, I’ll just roll with it! Maybe I’ll write a longer post one day, you never know.
So today I went on a forest walk, and it was in the area which I used to live in before as a kid my life took a drastic turn which led me to where I am now, and It was a bit surreal doing the things I used to do years ago, such as climbing the same banks, walking the same paths, and generally following in my younger self’s footsteps. I took note of all the mountain bike trails I rode, and noted all the subtle and major changes that have taken the forest and the town outside it. I also noted the things that hadn’t changed at all, which was nice.
I’d been there last year, but didn’t explore as much. Last time I went though, I kept having serious heart strings pulled as my memories of the past conflicted in my mind, and I wished that things had followed the path they were going earlier on in my life, instead of all the changes which happened. This time around however, I looked back on the memories with a certain fondness, and didn’t have near as many moments of ‘if only’ as I had before. It was a surprise but also a burden in itself, as I realised that I was letting go of the past in a sense, and no longer clinging to a dying dream of attempting to return my life to the path which I would rather it have taken.
Obviously, I’m only 19, so I know that this is literally the least of my worries when I think of the life I’ve yet to live, and the challenges I’ve yet to face, but this scenario has taught me something that I hope to carry into my future:
It’s hard to let go, and even harder once you realise you’re letting go, but sometimes it’s for the best. Not all memories have to bring on waves of regret. Not all paths of life that start off wrong or take a wrong turn end that way. Not all dreams are meant to become reality.